Tuesday, December 4, 2012

Kindness begins with me!

It seems as though we are miles from resolve and have forgotten – at the end of the day we bleed, breathe & hurt the same. Though I am extremely relieved at the outcome, I am also saddened at the careless way in which we treat each other.  I hear people say, good thing I am at work or I would not have been nice to that person.  Do we really need to be paid to be nice to people?  I come from a kind family, yes, they joke around a lot but never in forms of being mean or hurtful.  So why then?  And how do we win? 

Maybe one of the reasons is because we are in a battle with our self.  Are we tired of being nice because we feel ashamed? I look up ashamed in the dictionary;
1. Feeling shame or guilt: Are you ashamed for having lied?
2. Feeling inferior, inadequate, or embarrassed: Ashamed of my torn coat.
3. Reluctant through fear of humiliation or shame: Ashamed to ask for help.

We feel shame when we think poorly of ourselves. Well, that explains that, after all, who want to feel any of that?!!  But here's the problem: That doesn't make those feelings go away.  Usually when we feel bad about ourselves is when we turn those horrible feelings towards others.  When we yell! YOU ARE A FAILURE, are we really saying, I AM A FAILURE! 

Like all other emotional states, you have to "feel it to heal it" but don't let that scare you off.
In my quest to help people be kind here are some questions to ask yourself.  My helpful hint is to write it down.  It has worked wonders for me. 
  • What is it that you feel ashamed about?
  • How old do you feel when you tap into it?
  • What does it remind you of?
  • What old messages come up when you feel this feeling?

This is something I have learned from my son.  He has helped me heal in many ways.  It is time to release it!!!!   I love to write things that have hurt me down and then I BURN IT!!!  It makes me feel so good.  Then it is done and I can move on. 

Now it is time to care, to understand, to have empathy, to accept and encourage.  That is what being kinds i all about.  Celebrate your freedom now!  Be kind to others, make me proud!


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