Monday, December 31, 2012

Happy New Year! 2013 PINKY PROMISE!!

This year has been a year of many triumphs, but it also a year that almost killed me!  I cant help but be very excited! There is apprehension as to what this year will bring but I have a feeling it will be awesome!!!  If we all just tried, each day to be awesome, can you imagine the impact it would have?  We are better than okay!! WE ARE TOTALLY AWESOME!  

Sometimes being awesome will be a smile at a stranger, sometimes being awesome will be play tricks in elevators, sometimes being awesome will be laughing out loud!  I think awesome is knowing that oneself is awesome and letting that awesomeness rub off onto someone else.  Be more thankful for each day, each breath we take, each person who brings good into our life.  THAT IS AWESOME! 

 I have had much heartache in my life but over the years, I have weeded that garden and now I can see all the beautiful flowers that have blossomed.  Once the weeds are gone, the garden can flourish!  Weed your gardens, keep the weeds out! Surround yourself with people who appreciate you because THAT IS AWESOME!!  Happy New Year my blogging buddies.  Pinky promise to PLEASE BE AWESOME!!! 

Monday, December 24, 2012

Merry Christmas!

A friend is like a flower,
a rose to be exact,
Or maybe like a brand new gate
that never comes unlatched.
A friend is like an owl,
both beautiful and wise.
Or perhaps a friend is like a ghost,
whose spirit never dies.
A friend is like a heart that goes
strong until the end.
Where would we be in this world
if we didn't have a friend. - By Adrianne S

I have these type of friends.  This Christmas I am forever grateful to wonderful friends who saw the need of my family and just DID IT!  They are the type of friends who observe, THEN SERVE!  They did not have to ask me, what can I do for you?  They just DID IT!  My heart is humbled and warm (is this how the Grinch felt?) as I engage this holiday season.  The last couple of months have been the hardest I have had in about two years.  I have survived being a single mother of 8 kids, and grandmother of two adorable grand kids only because I have tremendous support from friends like the few handful I choose to keep very close to me.  I also have an extraordinary family whom I am thankful for each day.  This Christmas time I have felt the true love of Christ through the work of his angels here on earth.  In the future when my kids are grown, we will talk about how Santa is real.  Santa is alive in all of us! I cannot wait to pay it forward!

Merry Christmas my Friends!!!! 

Friday, December 21, 2012

National Look On The Bright Side Day!

Well since the world did not end (sorry to tell you this but the Mayans just ran out of ink). I am looking at today as a day of renewal.  Why wait for the New Year?  We want goodness and WE WANT IT NOW!!! (did I sound like Veruca Salt?)   It is time for an awakening and this year I have definitely had a very RUDE AWAKENING!  Actually five years ago when my husband left me I had another awakening but I am so over that now....sorry I get side tracked.   ANYWHO!!  Back to awakening.  This year my awakening has been to start taking better care of myself.  I have to be here for my KIDS! I need to remember to schedule my mammograms, yearly women doctor visits etc. (I already do not drink soda anymore which is a HUGE thing for me, 7-11 has lost so much money this last quarter).  The new step of taking care of myself is downright exhausting but in my plight for renewal I have found most things to be quite exhilarating.  I have learned to put on a protective armor against those who choose to be scrooges (just walk away, WALK AWAY).  The old me would tend to internalize everything, and now I let things kind of just bounce (which is easy on my bowl full of jelly)  So there are no more end of the world worries.  Let us all join hands and sing: 

Fah who for-aze!
Dah who dor-aze!
Welcome Christmas,
Come this way!
Fah who for-aze!
Dah who dor-aze!
Welcome Christmas,
Christmas Day.
Welcome, Welcome
Fah who rah-moose
Welcome, Welcome
Dah who dah-moose
Christmas day is in our grasp
So long as we have hands to clasp
Fah who for-aze!
Dah who dor-aze!
Welcome Christmas
Bring your cheer
Fah who for-aze!
Dah who dor-aze!
Welcome all Who's
Far and near
Welcome Christmas, fah who rah-moose
Welcome Christmas, dah who dah-moose
Christmas day will always be
Just so long as we have we
Fah who for-aze
Dah who dor-aze
Welcome Christmas
Bring your light
(Bridge (about 65 sec))
Welcome Christmas
Fah who rah-moose!
Welcome Christmas
Dah who dah-moose!
Welcome Christmas
While we stand
Heart to heart
And hand in hand
Fah who for-aze
Dah who dor-aze
Welcome welcome
Christmas Christmas Day!!!!  or something like that!  LOL.


Wednesday, December 19, 2012


Working each day with insurance companies can sure put the mean bug in anyone.  ME! not usually! So today I need to vent just a little bit about people who are in the line of work to save peoples lives....INSURANCE COMPANIES?   I usually work with professionals from insurance companies.  Mostly other nurses who know their stuff.  I enjoy calling them and I can talk with them on a first name basis.  Heck, I even have some of their numbers on my speed dial.  But today, as I have a cancer patient waiting for a pre-authorization to have a bone marrow transplant the bug hit me and I had to take out my ANGRY EYES!  I do not want to name names of the insurance company but the hint I will give; it is a federally funded, state insurance company.  I do not know this woman and she was obviously frustrated (at me? I do not know why, I was very pleasant for the first 45 minutes waiting for someone to pick up the phone).  I explained that my patient needed this transplant  yesterday (they usually do) and proceeded to tell me that they are still working on November stuff and do no see authorization for at least a couple of weeks.  Biting my tongue I said that he might not have another couple of weeks for which she said, that is not my problem.  WOW!!!  I hope the next time you get cancer that you have someone like you holding your life in your hands!!!!  I asked to speak to a supervisor (waiting another half hour) who told me basically the same thing, except she added....every time you call it wastes our time to talk to you.   OH MY BAD!!!! If you were doing your JOB, I would not have to CALL! (sorry that was my angry eyes).  In the end, my heart is sad because my poor patient will have to have another round of chemotherapy so the cancer does not ravage his body before Christmas.  So I ask you..... BAA-HUM-BUG? 

Tuesday, December 4, 2012

Kindness begins with me!

It seems as though we are miles from resolve and have forgotten – at the end of the day we bleed, breathe & hurt the same. Though I am extremely relieved at the outcome, I am also saddened at the careless way in which we treat each other.  I hear people say, good thing I am at work or I would not have been nice to that person.  Do we really need to be paid to be nice to people?  I come from a kind family, yes, they joke around a lot but never in forms of being mean or hurtful.  So why then?  And how do we win? 

Maybe one of the reasons is because we are in a battle with our self.  Are we tired of being nice because we feel ashamed? I look up ashamed in the dictionary;
1. Feeling shame or guilt: Are you ashamed for having lied?
2. Feeling inferior, inadequate, or embarrassed: Ashamed of my torn coat.
3. Reluctant through fear of humiliation or shame: Ashamed to ask for help.

We feel shame when we think poorly of ourselves. Well, that explains that, after all, who want to feel any of that?!!  But here's the problem: That doesn't make those feelings go away.  Usually when we feel bad about ourselves is when we turn those horrible feelings towards others.  When we yell! YOU ARE A FAILURE, are we really saying, I AM A FAILURE! 

Like all other emotional states, you have to "feel it to heal it" but don't let that scare you off.
In my quest to help people be kind here are some questions to ask yourself.  My helpful hint is to write it down.  It has worked wonders for me. 
  • What is it that you feel ashamed about?
  • How old do you feel when you tap into it?
  • What does it remind you of?
  • What old messages come up when you feel this feeling?

This is something I have learned from my son.  He has helped me heal in many ways.  It is time to release it!!!!   I love to write things that have hurt me down and then I BURN IT!!!  It makes me feel so good.  Then it is done and I can move on. 

Now it is time to care, to understand, to have empathy, to accept and encourage.  That is what being kinds i all about.  Celebrate your freedom now!  Be kind to others, make me proud!


Monday, December 3, 2012

Got Google?

When I wait on hold here at work my mind wanders.....If someone came up to me when I was 18 and said google, I would have looked at them very strangely.  But now google is a word used millions of times a day.  In fact, that is what google means a never ending number.  It just goes on and on.  I was on hold for about 15 minutes and these are all the random facts I learned today: 

This is the image I get when I google kalp.  It is true kalp is a part in the heart.  But it is also a radio station in Texas and a Design Center in Arkansas. 

Oh weebles still wobble but they don't fall down.  This is what I remember. 
OOOOOO WWWWWW translates to OOOOOO WWWWWW In Swedish, Malay, and Italian. 

apabila akan akhir dunia and this is what they were saying about December 12th 2012.  (Malay)

But the most important meaning of the word google.  Is when my son says to me every night, "I love you google."  The best word ever!!!! 

oops, gotta go.  I am off hold.