Monday, March 4, 2013

Dating made easy? Ya Right!

I am slowly getting back into single life, scary as that is to me. There is actually great cause to be scared!  Let’s face it…dating isn’t easy.  I have only been on a few online dating sites and it is down right scary.  Who has the time for all this?  Updating my profile took me days, now I have emails to return, setting up dates, going on dates, and not getting a returned call and so forth.  I have not dated for 27 years, so what do I know??  Absolutely nothing!!!  But...I do know a couple of things: 

When you submit your picture to an online dating site please make sure you;
  • 1. Have your shirt on (especially if your are over 40).
  • 2. Do not take your picture at Walmart
  • 3. Picture should be while you are awake.....and sober. 
  • 4. A picture of you and your ex wife or ex girlfriend does not spark any interest (tells me you are not over her)
  • 5.There will be more of these I am sure. 
When you email me. PLEASE DO NOT START OFF with, do you want a quickie?  Bad form, bad form!  Call me old fashion but I prefer to save quickies for marriage. LOL! 
The next thing I would ask is please do not try to tell me your sob story.  I am not your psychiatrist, I am not here to feel sorry for you or take care of you. I want to have FUN!

Now I have to be fair and let the women know a thing or two as well.  Again! I am no expert, but I have learned a thing or two....
  • 1.  Never, ever cry over a boy!!!!  I mean it! (this was very hard for me, with my ex....but we were together way long).  They aren’t worth it. Sure, there are some jerks out there. Don’t give them your power by allowing yourself to feel bad. My advice? Get mad. Start standing up for yourself. Don’t allow yourself to be treated badly. I believe that we train people how to treat us. If you can work on your assertiveness and confidence, you will find a relationship with someone who respects you. Until then, it will just be the same guy with a different name.
  • 2.  Keep things mysterious! This has been fun for me so far.  This is a big one. We all have baggage. Over the course of a relationship, your significant other will learn more about you. Until that point, don’t over share. This is a common mistake women make. Especially when we feel insecure, we tell people way too much about us. Because we share so much about our thoughts and emotions with each other, we tend to do this too much with men in the beginning. I am all for being open and honest in a relationship, but give the relationship a chance to progress before you open up too much. This especially applies to telling a man how you feel about him. If you have been dating for two weeks and think he might be the one, for the love, don’t tell him. Although, if after two weeks you do start fantasizing about marriage and children, we need to talk. Slow yourself down and find a distraction. There is no way you know enough about him that quickly to make a lifelong commitment. If that is where your mind is, you are missing some key data. 
  • 3.  Only give 20%:  This sounds harsh, but it is true. The feminists are going to hate me on this one, but I think “I am woman, hear me roar” has done us a disservice in the dating department. Think about it in mathematical terms, if you put in 100% effort, how much is left for him to give? Honestly, when it comes to dating, less is more. The less effort you put in, the more he has to come forward. This becomes diagnostic of how invested he is in you. If he doesn’t come forward, run, do not walk. If he is putting so little effort into your dating relationship, what will happen once he gets comfortable? Make him come to you. 
  • 4.  Do not call unless you are returning a call and do not text immediately.  You are busy....important....(this one is from my 21 year old daughter, thanks Ana).  This is the hardest one for me because email and text comes directly to my phone.  It has been fun to sit and think about the text or the email.  Which wraps all the above into one little package of FUN!
Meanwhile, we are not getting any ladies!!!! It is time to LIVE!

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